shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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