Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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