she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My ass is underappreciated
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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