is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
