Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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