32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize