You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
