gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
