He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize