Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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