Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just found puke in my bra..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
there is glitter all over my balls
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
