i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
