the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
whose ass print is on the piano?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
