Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
