so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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