Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
