so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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