We're facebook friends in real life
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
