Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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