Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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