I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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