people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
