We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
