so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
