they need to just BURY HIM!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
