Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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