we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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