The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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