I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
sarcasm needs its own font
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
