answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize