She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I love having hate sex.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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