These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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