Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize