I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
