his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
