Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
COCAINE IS GR8
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
