well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
