Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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