i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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