I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
