We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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