I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
zippers are such a cool invention
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
