I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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