if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
