If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
