honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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