She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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