Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
