It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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