we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
