I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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