Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
