I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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