I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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