just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I have demons in me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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