can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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