I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
