i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We left the knife in your bed.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
