She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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