I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
