Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
