How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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