I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
