it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
