With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize