you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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