what if every blade of grass was a penis?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize