Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
