I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize