singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
