were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
