I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
