she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
