I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
